The skipper’s in the wardroom drinking gin,
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!
I don’t mind knocking, but I ain’t a-going in!
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!
Jimmy’s laughing like a drain,
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!
Been lookin’ through my comic cuts again,
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!

Chicken on a raft on a Monday morning,
Oh, what a terrible sight to see,
Dabtoes forward and the dustmen aft,
Sittin’ there a-pickin’ at a chicken on a raft!
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!
Oy-o, chicken on a raft!
Hey-o, chicken on a raft!
Oy-o, chicken on a raft!

Well, they gave me the middle and the forenoon too,
So now I’m pullin’ in a whalin’ crew.
There’s a seagull wheelin’ overhead,
I oughter be sleepin’ in a feather bed!


Well, I had a little girl in Donny B
And Lord she made a fool of me.
Her heart ’twas like a pusser’s shower,
From hot to cold in a quarter of an hour!


An Amazon girl lived in Dumfries,
She only had her kids in twos and threes;
Her sister lives in Maryhill,
She says she won’t but I think she will!


So we kissed goodbye on the midnight bus
But she didn’t cry and she didn’t fuss.
So am I the man what she loves best
Or am I just a cuckoo in another man’s nest?

chicken on a raft: fried egg on toast
Jimmy: Jimmy-the-One, i.e. 1st lieutenant
comic cuts: orders (originally WWI British Army jargon for Divisional Orders)
dabtoes: seamen (not specialist ratings)
dustmen: engine room specialist ratings (originally stokers)
middle, forenoon: watches
whalin’ crew: whaler’s crew
whaler: ship’s boat
pusser: purser, i.e. notoriously tight-fisted